A Short Long Island

After working almost two weeks straight, one needs at least ONE day off. What do I do with mine? Head out of town of course!













Yes, I ventured out to Long Island. There are no crazy stories accompanied by this trip, but there are some nice photographs.

























Long Island was peaceful. One night with family, and then it was back to the city for me. Only this time, I had my cousin with me. We tore up NYC as we walked more than 100 blocks in one day. For the first time ever, I was taken up to the top on the Empire State Building, the 102nd floor. The view was stunning.




Oh how I love playing tour guide in a city which I know nothing about. Thank you Janice for the wonderful time hundreds of feet above New York!

England and I Have an Interesting Relationship

England and I have an interesting relationship. I feel like little bits of England or the UK follow me around, making their appearance right when I least expect it. This all started in Japan. I by great chance lived with a half British host family. We had a wonderful relationship. While living with them I purchased a very cheap, but very stylish messenger bag. The brand was Lonsdale, and apparently it's a brand from London. I didn't think twice about the brand. I didn't even realize the bag was British. I purchased it exclusively for its stylish factor, but now I had two little British bits following me around.

So there I was living with a British family, and unknowingly sporting around a British bag. I then moved to New York, and landed a job with British Airways. I again was surrounded by many people from the UK. After that job busted out, I thought I escaped the British clutch.

Then last night happened.

I was out with a new friend. We were having a few drinks, being social at a Midtown club. There were two boys sitting next to us. I paid them no attention. After a little while, one of our bench buddies pinches my shirt. He tells me that he liked the golden glitter stripes on my black button down. I thanked him, and started chatting.

He was from London, but didn't have a very interesting story. He was on New York on business (his company buys out smaller companies), and hated the city. After an hour of chatting on and off, he asked who owned the Lonsdale bag sitting on the bench. I claimed it, and then he made a snappy comment. He called that brand "really cheap shit in London."

I didn't really know what to do.

I said, "okay..." not knowing what he expected from me. I didn't even know what the brand was, I just wore it because it was cheap and cute (spoken like a true Tokyoite). I didn't care so much to talk to this man after his comment.

My friend was upset at this Londoner. My friend went on about how rude that comment was and about how I should have made a bitchy comment back. I didn't want to make any bitchy comment back. I didn't feel I had to justify owning a cheap bag. I love that. What do I care what some random boy who buys companies for a living thinks about my bag.

Also let's be honest. Making a bitchy comment back to him would have just lowered me to his standard. I'm not a bitchy gay man like him, and never will be. My bag and I walked away that night with no hard feelings. We fashionably walked across town to the 6 line and boarded the train in style.

Today I worked the night shift. I was going to take my khaki bag to work, but felt I hadn't been sporting around my sexy Lonsdale bag with a hot pink Ayu pin in the corner enough. I packed that bag and headed to work. On my way home that night, I left the restaurant, and started walking to 1st Ave to catch the M15 bus uptown. Somewhere between 3rd Ave and 1st Ave, a random boy yelled something to me. I was crossing the street when I heard his voice. I turned around, and it was a slim white boy whom I had never seen.

"What was that?" I asked.

"I said, where did you get your bag?" He shouted again.

This was weird, I thought. My bag had gotten me into trouble the night before, and now it's stirring up some commotion yet again. What's the deal here?

I started to walk back to his side of the street, so that my shouting voice could morph into a speaking voice. I told him that I got the bag at some thrift shop far out of town. He looked at me and said, "a thrift shop?" He made a pretty strange face, and from the intonation in his voice, I could instantly tell that he was gay. I repeated, "yeah...a thrift shop." He nodded his head and said, "Cool, I really like it."

A tiny smirk sprouted on my face, which quickly turned into a smile. "Thank you," I said, and then turned my back, and headed for the M15.

I don't know what kind of game England is trying to play with me. It gave me an amazing family, then a horrible job. Then it gave me a bitchy comment, followed by an endearing compliment. Whatever game this is, I suppose I'll just play along.

It seems to be giving me lemons, but it also seems to be giving me some delicious strawberries, along with some perfectly timed confidence boosters.

Tokyo vs. New York

Did Japan follow me to America, or did I take it with me? The past couple weeks seem to be getting more and more Japanese. A week ago I found a Japanese supermarket, 3o blocks from my house. It was great. I bought kimchee, miso soup mix, curry, and many more delicious items.

Yesterday I had the day off, so I decided to be productive, and go out. I dropped by Kinokuniya, browsed some Japanese books, CD's, magazines, the usual. I then stumbled upon a giant Ayumi promo poster for her new remix album. I begged the sales woman to let me buy it. After about 5 minutes of begging with no luck, I gave up.

After Kinokuniya, I dropped by Book OFF, to search for a Japanese DVD player. There were none, so I just browsed the store. Then on my way to the train station I found another Japanese supermarket. I bought some matcha flavored soba noodles, some nori shio potato chips, and of course, two daifuku to share with my roomie.

I got home, and decide to cook mabo dofu for dinner. I thought I knew what i was doing, so I didn't read the directions and messed up the mabo mix. Then I tried to use some tofu and make miso soup. I forgot the hon dashi, and the miso tasted way too funky to eat. I threw it all away. At least the mabo was edible.

After that I relaxed a bit, sat on my floor, and used my computer. Then some of my Social Eatz boys texted me to go out for karaoke. There was no way I could refuse. So I got all dolled up, Tokyo style, and then headed out. We went to a Karaoke BAR (yes that's right, we sat at a bar...no private room). It was a little strange for me. Karaoke in my mind should never be public. Karaoke should be an intimate experience you share with friends only in a private room.

But hey, I'm in America now. Time to do things America style...right? So I browsed the song list. Naturally I knew almost none of the English songs, and I ask the two Japanese bartenders if there was a Japanese song list. I put in a few Ayu songs, and sang my heart out. The bartenders realized I could speak Japaneses and start speaking Japanese to me for the rest of the night.

When I got home, I stumbled into my bathroom sized apartment, and walked the three steps to my bedroom. Then rolled down my futon, and drifted off to sleep.

Now what's wrong with that story? Hm?

I might as well be back in Japan, no? This has been the dilemma I've been contemplating. There are aspects about America that I love...but aspects about Japan (specifically Tokyo) that I love too. So which ones are more important?

Right now Japan is winning. I've been pining over Tokyo, wishing I could be back there. But there was a reason I left, no? I know that if I really wanted to stay I could have. But I didn't really want to stay there. I felt like it was time to leave.

I didn't feel an ounce of sadness leaving my host families home on that last day. I didn't feel regretful at all taking that train ride to the airport with my TUJ friends. And after I said goodbye to my boy, I knew it was the right decision to leave and work on a new chapter.

Recently though I've gotten lost. I've been second guessing my presence in NYC. Why? One reason - I'm lonely.

NYC is perfect in almost every aspect, except for the one that matters most right now. I have almost no friends. Yes, I'm slowly meeting people, and yes I will have good friends in a few years. But right now things have been a bit tough. I find myself wishing to be back in Tokyo, living with my host family, biking down to Ogikubo, sharing the insanity of ni-chome nights, doing all the things that felt comfortable yet fun.

I suppose right there is why I left though. Things felt too comfortable, and I wasn't feeling challenged. Maybe I'm just attracted to instability. Maybe I need something to be off in my life to feel like I'm making progress. Does that make sense?

Either way...the aspect of my life that is off right now is the lack of friends. That's why I've been missing Tokyo so much these past few weeks. And perhaps that's why I've been bringing Japan to me here.

I'm not giving up on NY. It's a bit lonely here, but I'm going to give it at least a year before I make any big move. Japan was lonely at first too, and look at how that turned out. I owe it to myself to give NY a chance. And if that means living a little Japanese-like at the moment, then so be it.

The Beauty of Travel

I saw a clever subway ad once. It said, “Love the city, flirt with the country.” That's exactly what I'm doing this weekend. It's time to leave New York and head back up North, to the “town” of Boston, and then the empty forest called Wilbraham. It's a little ridiculous how excited I got for this trip. I've lived in Boston for about a year (although it feels like five), and I've lived in Wilbraham, for 18 years. However just the thought of picking up and being in a new location stirs excitement that can't be matched by any other emotion.

I'm a traveler. Long bus rides, and unreliable transportation are my life. Just boarding the bus today made me feel all giddy inside, just the way I felt when departing for Japan for the first time in June 2006. I guess the travel bug has made a nest inside of me that it refuses to leave. That's okay little guy, I'll take care of you.

Something funny did happen though before I left. I felt something a little unexpected. After work today I had to rush home, gather my things, and then rush back out to catch my bus. Busy busy busy, just the way I like it. I had left work, and arrived at my home station. As I exited the subway, and started walking down 86^th Street, I started to feel sad. I was already missing New York before I had left.

I thought to myself, “This is strange...I've been waiting for this trip for months, and now I almost don't want to go. What's happening?” I've narrowed it down to one of two options:

A: The city is such an adventure, that leaving it right now with three days off is like leaving the theater right after THE introduction ends, and before Ayu has made her epic entrance.

Or

B: I'm starting to crave a home base. I'm just getting my nest set up, and I'm falling in love with my neighborhood more and more every day. I want to stay there and make it my HOME.

I don't know which one of those is accurate. Maybe both of them are. Having a home right now is a very desirable thought. I've spend over two months living off of my friend's floor. It's time to have a place of my own. But also, my neighborhood reveals new surprises every day. Yesterday it showed my a hidden movie theater. Today it showed me some adorable thrift shops. What will I uncover tomorrow?

I'm on the bus now, riding through rural Connecticut. The change in scenery is so refreshing for my spirit. I feel like for many people, steady lifestyles, and similar environments offer security. For me it's the opposite. I feel much more comfortable being on the go. I feel safe when I'm in a new location, or even just a location I haven't visited in a while. It's what I'm used to, and it's what I love.

So watch out Massachusetts, I'm back. It's only for a few days, but hey, let's be honest. A few days is all we need together. Once I get back to Manhattan, I will be officially moved in. I will have all my clothing, all my Ayu crap, and most importantly my shamisen.

So it's official, New York is going to be my new home base. That is until the little bug inside me wakes up from his sleep and is ready for some new fun.

Starbucks Boy

I like to think of myself as an experienced mover. I've moved house too many times in the past five years. If we count them all up, it makes 12. I've certainly learned a lot about moving, particularly how to handle the emotions it brings up. First I get excited, ready to make the new space my own. Then I get frustrated because moving is NEVER as simple as I plan it out to be. Once I get in, relief wraps me up in a warm blanket. I realize at that point I am all finished. Then quickly, out of nowhere comes the final emotion, loneliness.

Being in a new home means I've left my element, and entered a new one. I've come to learn that leaving my element, regardless of the type of element, always brings negatives with the positives. Moving into my new home gave me a sense of security. It gave me a new adventure. It gave me a reason to but a fancy rice cooker that sings "twinkle twinkle little star" to me.

But it also gave me loneliness. Being in my empty apartment, staring at my white, blank walls without any furniture, any personality, or any internet connection really pulled me out of my comfort zone. I'm not a stranger to this emotion, but it's one of those emotions that I don't want to remember...so I never did.

Today, being the media crazy 22 year old that I am, I was desperate for internet. So I walked two blocks down to the nearest Starbucks to mooch off of their free wi-fi service. When I entered the shop, there were no seats available. So I decided to wait.

There I stood, in the center of a room filled with loungers. Almost nobody was drinking coffee. Some old men in the back were sitting down, reading newspapers. Some kids to my left were chatting up a storm with their empty cups. Then over to my right was an attractive young male doing some work on his computer. I realized there was a chair next to him with some papers on it. One of the old newspaper reading men noticed that I was waiting for a seat. He approached me, and told me I could sit with him if the young man to my right would give up his chair.

“SCORE.” I thought. People in New York are so nice. It was time to hop on my computer and ride the waves of cyberspace. So I asked the attractive young man to my right for his chair. I said, “Excuse me, I'm sorry do you mind if I take this chair?” He glanced up at me and replied with, “Um... yeah I do.”

Let's be honest, this caught me a little off guard. He minded if I took the chair? He didn't want me to sit down and do my work? What the hell kind of papers were those that they required their own chair? What a dick. I was quite angry about this, but kept my calm. I just nodded and continued to wait. Eventually A seat opened up, and I snagged it like it was the last cheese karaage-kun at Lawsons.

Throughout my hour or so there I realized that same boy was glancing over at me every so often. I ended up leaving Starbucks soon after, only to find myself returning a half hour later. Apparently I was quite desperate for cyberspace access. When I entered the shop again he looked over at me. There was a table with two chairs right in front of me.

He made a comment that didn't seem rude, but given the previous circumstance, it was a bit questionable. He said, “Hey you got two now.”

I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed that he was being lighthearted and silly. I replied with something like, “I could even bring a friend.” So I sat down to do my surfing, and I noticed again that he was turning hes head every so often to peer in my direction. We made eye contact a few times. I acknowledged it with a head nod or an eyebrow raise. Nothing fancy.

About an hour later I started getting ready to leave. I saw him quickly start to pack up his things. We stood from out chairs at roughly the same time. Apparently he was leaving too. Then things started getting weird. He looked over at me, and asked me, “So what were you working on.”

Again, this boy caught me off guard. His question ended up leading into a short conversation about me furniture hunting because I just moved into the neighborhood. He mentioned that he lived close by as well.

Throughout the whole conversation I couldn't figure out what was going on. Was this boy flirting with me, or was he being friendly? My gaydar was NOT going off in any way, shape, or form. It was at level zero. So I had no reason to think he was flirting with me. But I couldn't help but ask myself why a straight man would act like this. I think I need to pose a question to all my straight friends. Do you guys just strike up conversations with other men at Starbucks? How about after you've been stealing glances at them for hours? Please enlighten me.

I refused to believe that he was flirting, partially because the gaydar signal was so low, but also because I wasn't ready to embarrass myself in front of a random cute straight boy at my local Starbucks. Either way though, it felt good to be acknowledged. I packed my things a bit faster than him, and departed, leaving one final comment.

“Well maybe I'll see you around again, yeah?”

And off I went.

As I left Starbucks, a new emotion arose inside of me. The loneliness I was feeling before seemed to dissipate, making room for a new one. That boy was flirting with me. He was interested. I no longer felt alone. Manhattan had just sent me a welcome home present. It acknowledged my arrival, and greeted me with a friendly flirt from a friendly, yet chair hungry neighborhood hottie. Yes, New York had finally opened its doors, and invited me inside.

Like I've mentioned before...Sometimes all we need is that one person, in that right moment, to say just the right thing, which gives us confirmation that we're on the right track.

Gumdrops Keep Fallin' on my Train

I was taking the subway around 10pm. I was sitting down, resting, listening to some Ayu. Across from me was a young couple, probably around the same age as me. They were dressed like trendy punk rockers. The girl was wearing some black converse with a gray/black toned outfit. The boy had on a baggy shirt with a backwards hat. They seemed very relaxed, the girl with her feet up on the chair in front of her and the boy had his arm around his girl. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I knew they were having a grand old lovey-dovey time.

Eventually the girl reached into her bag, and pulled out a packet of gum. I was mildly surprised to see that it was the exact same brand of gum that I had in my bag at the time - Orbit Spearmint Spritzer. The girl grabbed a piece, and dropped the wrapper on the floor. She then dropped the empty gum packet on the floor.

This caught my attention.

Naturally I started to over-analyze the situation. I start thinking, "Why would somebody purposely drop a piece of trash on the ground, and not pick it up?" I couldn't grasp this concept. If it were me, I would immediately pick up the garbage, and store it somewhere until I could toss it in a trash bin. I personally prefer a clean environment. A clean city to me is a comfortable city. If I litter, then not only am I being hypocritical, but I'm contributing to the filth which founders New York.

Does this girl not want a clean city? Does she enjoy looking at garbage on the train, having old newspaper scraps and used McDonald's cups attack her feet? I certainly don't, and that's why I make sure I put my garbage in the garbage can.

No matter how much I tried to understand why she littered, I just couldn't. If you make a conscious decision to throw a piece of garbage on the ground, then you make a conscious decision to make the city that much more dirty, that much more smelly, and that much more unsanitary. I'm sure this girl doesn't necessarily want a dirty, smelly, unsanitary city. But if doesn't then she certainly made a contradictory decision just now.

So I kept watching, wondering when she would pick up her trash, if she would pick up her trash. I waited, waited and waited some more. Eventually her and her boy got up, and off boarded at Woodhaven Blvd.

The gum pack was still on the floor.

I didn't know what to do. I felt like this girl had put me in an unfair position. I'm the person who wants a cleaner New York, but thanks to her, I had just witnessed a litter offense in person. It's not my responsibility to clean up after anybody... but it's also not fair for me to wish for change, and not actively make change.

I would love it if New York were clean - end of sentence.

If I want a cleaner city, than maybe not contributing to the filth isn't enough. Maybe I need to pitch in just a tiny amount, to clean things up. Maybe seeing someone litter, and not doing anything about it, is just as bad as littering in the first place.

I picked up her empty gum box, and threw it in the garbage when I got to my station. I don't expect to go along, picking up all the trash I see on the streets from now on. Hell if I did that it would take me hours just to walk from home to my station. But maybe just a little help here and there will make New York just that much cleaner, that much more sanitary, and that much more comfortable to live in.

Spontaneity Strikes Again!

Yesterday I was at work. Life was normal, business was average, nothing was out of the ordinary. So when things got slow I took a bathroom break, and checked my phone messages. I noticed an old friend from Japan texted me a flight itinerary. She told me that was flying to NYC in less than a week to visit. The text read, "Is this okay? Should i get the ticket?"

Now that I look back on it, my first impression seems odd. When I read this I immediately thought, "Hell no, I need to work and save up money. I wont have time to take you around. I wont have my own place yet. The timing is all off!" I texted this to her and asked her to come later on, sometime in May. It turned out that she couldn't. I didn't know what to tell her.

As I left the bathroom and returned to my shift, I thought more about my reaction.

Okay, so the timing isn't so great...but it's the only time she's able to visit, I haven't seen her in years, and she really wants to visit New York. So why am I making excuses for her not to come? Where did Kyle's spontaneous attitude about life go? And when the hell did I become so responsible?

Fearing that I was becoming a middle aged professional too soon, I texted her, telling her "Sure, buy the ticket, come to New York!" I knew this wasn't a wise decision at all, but I couldn't let myself feel boring and predictable.

The next day (today) I found myself thinking back to my initial thoughts when she texted me. They worry me. Have I lost some of that free spirit that brought me to New York in the first place? Why didn't I want her to visit? What was I scared of? Am i starting to crave a more stable, mature lifestyle?

I don't know how to answer those questions. I mentioned this to Rebeca when I spoke with her later that night. We realized something interesting that both of us had in common. We both had three goals to accomplish upon graduation. Mine were:

A) Find a job
B) Find an apartment
C) Find a career

Rebeca's were:

A) Find a job
B) Find an apartment
C) Find a man

Both of these are fine plans...but they both lack something EXTREMELY vital to a 22 year old's lifestyle - a social life. Nowhere on my list did I put, "Network in New York," or "Meet new people."

So what does that mean?

Maybe I'm thinking about this in a little too much depth, but the more I do think about it, the more I realize how much a social life has been lacking from my life here. I do have a job, I'm getting a place, but I don't really have friends yet, and I don't socialize very often.

So I started asking myself why I don't socialize, and there was only one answer: Because socializing is expensive, and takes a lot of time that I could be using to make money.

Again this brings us back to the "being responsible" theme that I seem to be focusing on. There is nothing wrong with being responsible, but when does being responsible lead to a decrease in one's quality of life? And when does voluntary responsibility take us farther away from the lifestyle we want to live?

I'm glad I told Rebeca to come visit despite my initial reaction. I think I need some stressful spontaneity to shake things up in my life. Although I am determined to reach my goals...I'm also determined to live up my 20's as much as I can. Plus this will give Rebeca and I time to re-think our long term goals. Somewhere in that list, there needs to be a, "be an irresponsible, spontaneous, free spirited 22 year old."

I can probably sandwich that in between the "Work for a wealthy corporate travel agency" step and the "Save up for an apartment in the East Village" step.

Little Tokyo, Big New York

New York is warming up to me, little by little. When I first arrived, it greeted me by revealing only it's outer face. New York said to me, "look at me! I'm wonderful! Enjoy me from afar, and pine to be one with me!"

I observed from afar, and yes, I did pine to be a part of this city. Since I've arrived, two months ago, New York has been giving me small doses of what I want, need, and what I didn't even know would matter to me.

One of my favorite people in the world, Michelle, visited New York last week. I think New York felt more comfortable revealing it's true self to me when Michelle was here. With her by my side, New York showed me tons more unique shops, some kick-ass neighborhoods, and even helped me get closer to some of the people I've met here. Most importantly though, New York showed me it's Japanese side.

I think it's just fate that Japan would follow me, even to New York. When spending time with Michelle we found ourselves seeking out, and stumbling upon little remnants and reminders of our lives together in Tokyo. One night we bought tickets to see a show on Broadway. We spent the day walking around Manhattan, and of course, the showtime crept up on us faster than planned. We grabbed a taxi and directed to driver to time square. On the way there, we just happened to pass Book Off (a major Japanese used book/CD/DVD store). We immediately wrote down the location and visited it later that week.

It's fate that as Michelle and I were aimlessly wandering through the East Village, and just happened to stumble upon a Japanese karaoke bar. We got a private room, just like in Japan, and sung all Japanese songs, including some extremely new ones. What's more, we paid just as much as we would have paid in Tokyo.

Maybe the fact that I'm introducing new people to New York made it think that I'm serious about staying here. Maybe the more comfortable this city gets with me, the more wonderful places it's going to show me.

Today New York yet again gave me a little reminder that I'm on the right "life" track. I was working, and chatting with one of the new girls. We were making the usual small talk - where are you from? How long have you been here? blah blah. I mentioned that I moved here from Tokyo, and arrived with just a backpack of clothing and $100 in my pocket. The girl was a little taken back. She made a comment along the lines of, "Wow you're only 22? That's so adventurous...good for you."

Adventurous...I guess it is, isn't it?

With Michelle here I naturally fell back into the "Let's move back to Japan," mindset. But after hearing how "adventurous" I was, I was for being so free-spirited, my ass was kicked back into shape. I do miss Japan...yes. I do want to move back to Tokyo...yes. But right now, Tokyo is not for me. New York is Kyle's new adventure, and I wont stop until I've climbed to the top of the tallest building, defeated the boss, saved the princess, and beat New York.

Only then will I recieve the key to move onto the next stage.

And Then There Was One

I made an impulsive decision today. I resigned from my job at the airport.

On my way to work today I knew it was time to quit. The negatives of the job greatly outweighed the positives. I was well aware of this since the beginning, but I repressed those thoughts for one reason, and one reason only. I was working for an airline. The word airline tricked me into thinking the job was something more than what it was.

Funny how we do that, isn't it? We hear only what we want to hear.

When I was hired, I heard, "AIRLINE, blah blah blah, TRAVEL, blah blah blah, BENEFITS." But what they were really saying was, "Working check in, low hours, low pay, strict work schedule." I chose to ignore those aspects of the job because of the airline aspect.

But come on now, the job I was hired for has nothing to do with an airplane...my position was in an airport, not an airplane. My job required me to perform repetitive tasks in a crowded environment, not travel the world. I knew that from the beginning, but didn't realize it until yesterday.

So that was it. Yesterday I decided to resign, and today I initiated. Yes I realize how hasty that was.

I talked to an old friend today, Rebeca. She made a comment that got me thinking. She said, "The best decisions we make are based on impulse." I couldn't agree more.

Rebeca moved to Japan on impulse, and she's never regretted a day of her time there. Impulsive decisions have taken me out of Tokyo, and brought me to New York. I can honestly say that I've never been happier.

Being impulsive sure as hell gets us into trouble. That should not be forgotten. Quitting a job at Starbucks 6 hours before your shift starts, and then refusing to pick up the phone when your manager calls MIGHT get you blacklisted from the company... But it might just give you the time to focus on your real goals, and teach you how to reach your true potential.

Impulsive decisions can complicate our lives, but at the same time they can bring us closer to bright and stimulating places. I have confidence that this impulsive decision is going to take me far from my past of stressful low paying jobs, and bring me head first into the world of gainful employment.

Weeks upon weeks ago I received the contact information for a big shot travel agent. I wrote a blog about it, remember? I sent him an e-mail the day I got his information and never heard anything back. I was bummed but it was one of those, "Oh well," moments.

On my way to the airport today I received a call. Being underground, I didn't get anything except a voice mail. When I emerged above ground, I listened to the mail...it was him.

Life works out in the funniest ways, just when we need them to the most.

I've always believed that, and always will - secret or no secret.

The Secret: Kyle's Conclusion

So I've finally done it. I've taken the hour and a half, and watched The Secret.

Don't worry, I'm not going to repeat the film's teachings, or even rave about how wonderful the film was. Honestly I don't think it taught me much more than what I already know.

I knew sitting down tonight, that The Secret was going to tell me to believe in what I want. It would tell me to envision myself having what I want. It was going to advise me to negate my negative thoughts, and focus only on my positive thoughts.

I was right. The film told me to do all of those things. However the truth is this...I already do all of those things. And let's be honest here...I have a pretty fulfilling life.

Now I'm not making any bold statements. I'm just declaring what I've experienced. If you've read my blog posts, you can see that I have a pretty positive outlook on life. I don't switch my daily attitude when I write. I write how I feel. I stay honest to what's on and within my mind. And look at what that is. It's all positivity.

I live in a positive light, and positivity finds me. Strange? Maybe not.

Times can be rough. For a while I was working 80 hours per week, getting no sleep, and having little to no time to even check my e-mail. But life was still good. I loved my jobs and I love the people I was surrounded with each day. So I keep on truckin', I kept staying positive, and I kept getting the things I desired - good company, an active lifestyle, money, and a start of a fulfilling career.

I'm not here to tell anyone to change their lifestyles. What works for me works for me. What works for you may be something totally different. That's fine.

I just find it funny how the way I've been living my life is being reflected in a popular film. What's more, is that all the statements that the film is making have rung true to my life. They just click together.

I have my goals, and you have yours. I envision mine, I desire mine, I focus on mine, and I believe in mine. So what happens? I start getting mine. Are you getting yours?

If you are at all interested in the film, I highly recommend it. Just approach it with open eyes, and hold your judgments for elsewhere: http://www.putlocker.com/file/EF436RZNC7C4OCO#

Pizza Truck Wisdom

Well worth $1 per slice!

A Little Lady's Deceiving Gestures

Every day, things happen. Some crazy and blog worthy. Others too ridiculous for a blog to handle. But every night when i get home, I have anywhere between 4 and 6 hours until I have to be up to get ready for my next day. So I never write about them.

However life is finally starting to calm down. and free time is inching its way back into my grasp.

The other night I wanted to write about something, but fell straight to bed when I got home. I was taking the train home from Manhattan. I had just finished another crazy night at the restaurant. No big shot celebrities this time, just lots and lots of wealthy patrons.

As I was waiting for the train there was nobody standing around me. Once the train rolled in, the doors stopped right in front of me. I picked a lucky spot to wait. All of a sudden, despite the fact that fate had generously put the doors in front of me, giving me premier access to the train, a tiny middle aged lady was trying to push me out of the way.

She wasn't physically pushing, but rather nudging me, trying to get her feet in front of mine. I was a little confused. There were obviously enough seats inside for everybody to sit down. Did she not see that? Hmm...why was she so eager to get inside?

I didn't want to reward rudeness, so I didn't move out of the way for this lady. I just stood my ground and waited for the doors to open, and the people to exit. As I took a step inside, the lady next to me quickly stepped in second. Once in the train, she darted in front of me to find a seat. Whatever, I let her. I took my time, moseyed inside, and scouted for the widest seat I could find. It happened to be right next to this lady.

Oh well, I thought. She seemed a little selfish, but that's no reason to avoid her. So I plopped right down. I wasn't looking at her but she seemed to be glaring at me, resenting my presence. Space was a bit tight, and it was inevitable that our bodies touched.

She would have none of that.

She constantly, for the next five minutes, bumped back and fourth, trying to give herself ample space. It seemed like she was trying to push me as far away as she could, so we wouldn't touch.

It started to piss me off. What was this lady's issue? Why was it so important for her to rush inside the train in front of me to take a seat. She wasn't elderly. Why was she so much more important than I? And now on the bench, why did she deserve so much more space than I?

The train kept crowding with people. Soon all the seats were gone and lots of bodies were crowding over us sitting passengers. It was your average New York mix. every race describable, huddled together in one train car. Characters ranging from drunk business men to quite thugs with their earphones in. The lady next to me kept pushing back and fourth, moving her shoulders, trying to open up space for herself. It got annoying very fast. I turned my head and looked over.

I saw that she had all of her belongings tightened grasped with one hand on her lap. The other hand was holding up her shirt against her nose, as if there was a bad smell.

There was nothing smelly.

She looked distressed, and nervous. My building anger instantly stopped elevating, and started declining. I felt bad. Without taking the time to look at her, I was only reacting to half of her actions. I was annoyed that she rushed in front of me into the train, annoyed that she tried to move away from me on the seat, and annoyed with the overall impression she was leaving with me.

But I don't think she was trying to be a bitch. I think she was not used to the subways, and she was nervous. New York subways can leave a pretty negative impression. I felt bad for judging. But I didn't know what to do. I wasn't rude to her so I couldn't apologize for anything.

It just got me thinking. Just because someone seems like they are being a bitch, doesn't actually make them a bitch. I'm sure if we had met under different circumstances, this lady would have been absolutely charming.

She got off at the station before me. Once she left I sat there, nobody around me. I felt like I had just lost a war with myself. I was disappointed in myself for letting something so minor bother me so much, just to realize that none of it was an attack on me. I was judgy. I hate being judgy. Being judgmental is such a negative concept. It's not me.

We all judge people, yes. Whether we like it or not instinct will always kick in and tell us things about our surroundings. My instincts told me that this lady was a selfish bitch, when she was probably just a nervous tourist.

We live and learn. It's fine. I can't help the judgments, but I can definitely work on controlling them!

The Secret

I talked to an old friend on the phone today, Christina Porter. When she found out I was in NY, she asked me how I managed to go from Boston to NYC within weeks and holding minimal cash. I replied with an, "I don't know. I just really wanted a challenge, something new. So I went looking for that."

I chat with my co-workers at the restaurant all the time. Today, being a Sunday, was quite dead. So I spent a lot of time chatting with our bus boy. He's a guy like me, 21 years old and from Bulgaria. We are both new to New York so we talked a lot about the city, about Bulgaria, Japan, random life happenings. Somehow we got onto a related topic to spirituality, so I asked him if he was religious.

He replied, with a, "not really." and that sparked a conversation about what we do believe in. Apparently we have similar outlooks on spirituality. Then he mentioned to me "the secret."

Instant Deja-vu.

Back in Tokyo Sebastian, Amanda and I talked a lot about the secret. They introduced me to the concept, although I think I've known about the secret for a long time. The secret to what, you may be thinking. The secret to everything of course.

Apparently it was a film? I don't know. But the secret its simple really. Do you want to know?

Do you really?

I'll tell you...the secret is to believe. But what does that mean? It means to trust, and believe that your life will be the way you want it to be.

Does that make sense?

Let's take a step back for a second, while I give you an example. The first time I heard about the secret from Sebastian, and the conversation went something like this.

Kyle: You should come to my shamisen concert this weekend!
Sebs: Yeah sure... How did you get into shamisen anyway?
Kyle: Well I don't really know. I just really wanted to play it...so I did.
Sebs: Oh okay, you must know about the secret.
Kyle: The what?

And that's how I learned.

The secret isn't a theory telling people that their lives are going to be perfect and wonderful all the time. No not at all. The secret is just to envision what you want. Understand what you want, and know what you need to do to get what you want. Start doing what you need to do, and believe that things are going to work out. If you truly, and honestly believe they will work out, then they will.

What I'm saying may sound pretty ridiculous to some...but how ridiculous are our goals and aspirations? Isn't it worth doing everything possible to be what, and who we want to be?

I wanted to play shamisen. So I went to a performance, happened to meet a teacher there, and started taking lessons from him. He lent me a shamisen, and eventually helped me get my own. Of course life didn't just hand me a shamisen and say, "play Kyle...play away." No not at all.

I found out what I needed to do, and life just guided me along the way. I jumped at all the opportunities life gave me, and because of that, I reached my goal of learning how to play the shamisen. I honestly believe that things will work out in a positive manner if we let them.

Does this mean that if I sit in my bed tonight, envision myself with a million dollars, and believe I'll get it, that tomorrow a million dollars with fall onto my bed? No. If I want that million, I will have to understand the realistic ways to get it, plan out how I will get it, and start initiating my plan. Then life will guide me along the way if I let it.

Maybe this isn't the secret that the film speaks of, but it's the secret I follow. And maybe it's not much of a secret, is it?

I try to live each day as positively as I can. I know what I want from life, and I know how I can get that. So far life has given me what I want, and that isn't a coincidence.

As silly as the secret may sound, we just need to believe.

Like that woman in the station said last month. Stay warm, stay safe...but above all, stay focused. If we do that, life will guide us along our own paths.

10 Minute Turbulance

Now that my two jobs are in full motion, I don't find myself with much time to contemplate life. Today though, something happened that got me thinking.

Airline training was done for the day, and I was waiting for the bus to take me to my next job. An older man comes up to me and says, "I saw you here waiting yesterday. I was just wondering how long the bus took to arrive? I left around 5:15."

I was a little surprised the man was talking to me, let alone that he remembered my face. But despite my slight shock, I responded appropriately. I told him when the bus arrived, and asked when it usually comes. He answered appropriately.

After that however, he then started to talk more about the bus system, how things used to be, how it affects his job, and how it's unreliable these days. He then talks about jobs. I find out that he used to work in the travel industry, so I start talking about jobs. Before I know it, I spent about 10 minutes talking to this complete stranger. So that's when it hit me...what is this guy's motive? He must have a motive. Why else would he talk to me for what seems like a random reason?

Is he going to try and shove traditional ideals upon me? Is he an old gay man that hopes he can woo a younger guy? Is he a serial killer who wants to lure me into his chamber of danger? These thoughts were flying around through my head, nonstop for the later half of our conversation.

Then the bus came.

He ended abruptly, with a, "well thanks, I was just curious about the bus time." He boarded the bus, sat down, and ignored me the entirety of the trip. When we arrived in Jackson Heights, he got off, and disappeared into the sea of winter jackets and fuzzy earmuffs.

I didn't know what just happened. A random stranger just invested an entire 10 minutes of his life into getting to know me, for what seemed to be no particular reason.

People do that?

This is a concept I'm not so familiar with. It may be my years in Japan that made me this way, but I've always respected strangers for what they are...strangers. I don't know them and don't want to risk inconveniencing their lives by getting to know them.

This man talked to me. He ignored my privacy, and struck up a friendly conversation. How...refreshing. As weird as this was to me, I started to feel more comfortable with it as the day went by.

On my way home from the restaurant, I was standing on the train in front of two girls. They were clearly friends, chatting and whatnot. Next to them was another girl, sitting silently. I had my earphones in, so I was taken off to a world of Ayumi. I couldn't hear anyone's conversation.

But although I was deafened by Ayu's howls, I could see something. The silent stranger next to the friends overheard the conversation, and turned to talk to the pair. It seemed like the first few sentences were a bit awkward, but before I knew it, all three girls started talking like old friends. Astonishing!

The girls talked for about ten minutes, then they split up at Woodhaven Blvd. I watched as the girls parted. Nobody exchanged phone information, or traded names. Those girls aren't going to find eachother on facebook. They aren't going to see each other again. They just invested 10 minutes getting to know each other with no goal in mind. They simply wanted to chat.

How refreshing, no? Life can be lighthearted. Life can be spontaneous. And although some things in life may seem pointless, I've come to think that's a misconception.

Time Sqaure

Life may be crazy busy...but there is always time for some midtown shenanigans!

Double the Fun

The time has come people. If you've been reading my blogs, then you know about the difficult conundrum I was in about my career path. I had two jobs with clashing schedules, and I wasn't willing to give up either. So that's what I did today. I kept both of them.

Yesterday I received word that the airline company wanted to hire me. I'm not being cocky here, but I wasn't surprised. I'm not the best interviewer, but I went prepared to that interview, and made one hell of a good impression. I earned that job offer.

So today I chatted with my wonderful restaurant crew. It IS possible to work around my airline schedule.

Life is wonderful. I'm an honest believer that you can get what you want in life if you're determined to get it. I wanted to keep both jobs, and that's just what I did.

On a more depressing note, Japan has been trying to get my attention recently. I find myself looking at old photos from college, and chatting with long ago friends from Japan, specifically two of my besties: Justin, Becca.

We all love Japan, but currently live in America. We would all love to live in Japan again, but not right now. So we have begun a project.

The project is currently name-less, but I'll give it the tentative title of “Japan Re-location for Wandering Spirits.” By this time next year, we hope to be out of our current transitional phases, and have a steady lifestyle. Then, the goal is to devise a plan. Draw out some possibilities, set some time frames, and figure out how we can all get back to Japan. Then the next few years after that will be the commencement phase.

It might be a little silly, but it's composed of serious intentions. None of us are ready to re-locate to Japan right now...but who am I to deny myself another adventure once New York has lost its edge?

I honestly don't know where I'm going to be in 5 years. New York, Hawaii, Spain...who knows? But I know if I'm back in Asakusa, taking puri with Justin and Becca, I'm guaranteed some happiness.

Shit, Shit, Shit SHIT!

Today I received a reference to an important, wealthy travel agent who works in corporate travel. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world to get his email. I'm aware that all good jobs come from networking. I thought to myself, "this might be it...this might be my way in."

So I prepared the perfect email, briefly introducing who I am, and what I aim to achieve. In two sentences I summed up my work history, and made a statement like, "please see my attached resume for more details."

I read that email over and over at least 40 times. I spent about 15 minutes just staring at the screen, making sure everything was spelled properly. Everything had to be perfect. I had to make the best impression possible so that this big head honcho man would know that I'm serious, and give me the time of day. Once i was confident in my 150 words, I clicked the send button. A whole two seconds later, I realized that something was off...

There was no resume attached.

I panicked. I panicked like I had never panicked before. What should I do? I would forever leave an unprofessional first impression. I was THAT guy. The guy too lazy to proofread his emails before sending them out. THAT guy doesn't get hired by anyone, let alone an important corporate travel agent. It was ruined. My life was over. I could kiss NY travel goodbye.

But no...I couldn't give up that easily...I had to at least try to salvage any lasting hope I had of receiving a reply. I QUICKLY typed up another short email stating, "Attached is my resume, Thank you." I made sure I ATTACHED my resume this time.

I was so embarrassed. I ensured that the first e-mail was perfect before I sent it. I wrote about 5 different copies, picked the best, and then proofread it about 40 times. It was so perfect. So how could I send it without a resume?

I lied down after that and sulked. It was over. I fucked up. I screwed myself. I lost. Game over. I fail. Life sucks.

Negativity was consuming my mind. I couldn't escape it. At least not at first. But the more I lay on my 5'7 blow up mattress, the more I started to forgive myself.

I tried damn hard to make sure that email was perfect. I spent longer than I ever have proofreading an email. I was not rushing, and I was not unprofessional. I simply made a mistake. There was nothing I could have done to prevent that.

I could have proofread that email 40 more times, spent another 10 minutes staring at the gmail screen, and still forget to attach the resume. It wasn't careless, it was a mistake.

No matter how perfect we try to make something...imperfections are unavoidable. We're all human aren't we? We forget, we stumble, we get lost, we're late, we trip, we make mistakes.

This one might have caused me to miss the best opportunity of my life...or maybe it just saved me from working for 40 years in an evil, stressful corporate environment. I don't know what damage or rewards this mistake will present...but I do feel comfortable knowing that there was no way around it.

Maybe he will reply anyway. I don't know. I always tell myself that I have until I'm 30 to start my career. I feel like your 20's is your time for crappy jobs, tiny apartments, pushing your limits, and making all the right mistakes. So although I may have lost the opportunity to be a travel agent at 22, I don't have to stress out about it until I'm 29.

Let's make these mistakes now people, while it's still okay.

Can you add a little New York to my life please?

Being in another major metropolis, I always find myself comparing it to other cities. New York is dirtier than Tokyo, Boston's buildings are prettier than New York's. Tokyo had so much less space to move around. Thoughts like this pop into my head every fifth ave of a second, every day. But there is one thought in particular that I keep thinking to myself. New York has a hell of a personality.

I reconnected with an old friend today, Jamie. We met at school in Boston. After feeding me the best cupcakes of my life, she took me on a walking tour of Manhattan. We chatted the usual catching up conversations, but we found ourselves doing the same thing that I do by myself - comparing New York to the rest of the world. We walked through an intersection, and Jamie would comment on how it reminded her of Boston's financial district. Then we walked through Washington Square park and I commented on how it reminded me of Boston Common. Later we reach the seaport and we talked about how it looked like Faneuil Hall.

The comments kept pouring out of us, partially because Boston was our common ground. But probably we just wanted to take a small trip down memory lane together...without actually visiting memory lane.

However I soon realized...as much as we try to compare New York to other places...we simply can't. There are similarities here and there, but New York is so unique, and so diverse, that there is no such thing as a sister city.

While we walked south, we passed an NYU dorm. Some spunky student left us a happy surprise in his or her window.




And just in case we were looking at the wrong side of the building, a friendly neighbor was offering directions.



Everywhere we went there was something to do, something to see, or something worth blogging about. We walked down to Washington Square Park and found a very talented street artist, painting with sand.

















We then walked about 15 meters and were distracted by some thesbians, putting on a show about Cesar. Then after a couple blocks we found the giant rotating cube. So we pushed. We pushed hard.

















Eventually our path led us to the waterfront. We caught a beautiful view of Brooklyn, and tried our absolute hardest to look happy by the freezing cold river.

















So what did I learn today? New York has spunk. Not Regina George, call up Planned Parenthood on Taylor Wedell spunk, but a good kind of spunk. There is sketch, and there is class...often times on the same block. But no matter where New York takes you, there will always be something beautiful, interesting, or just plain strange to look at.

New York will always have plenty of surprises up its sleeves. Surprises like running into a tambourine taping monkey in the subway, holding up a sign that says, "Your smile is beautiful."

A $15 daily commute? Uh oh...

When we have a goal, we do whatever it takes to reach that goal, don't we? We climb steep mountains, cross dangerous bridges, and make sleazy wagers with all the wrong people. Eventually though, all of our hard work and determination pays off.

But what if it pays too much...and what if we get more than what we asked for?

I'm sure most people would say, “perfect!” Getting more than what you wanted allows you to pick and choose the bits that work best for you. But what if you don't want to pick? What if you want all of what you've worked for, when in reality, you can only have a small portion?

What am I talking about exactly? Well I'm talking about life...what else do I talk about on here? More specifically though, I'm talking about careers. I tried so hard in both Boston and New York to find a good, well paying, exciting, Kyle-friendly job. I fear that I've just found two. What's worse...I fear those jobs aren't willing to share me.

I've already been hired to be a server in a very swanky, very sexy restaurant. I'm wicked excited to work there. My co-workers are wonderful, and management is ideal. When I got hired, I knew I had made it. I knew that New York was ready to welcome me with open arms. Everything felt right.

Then today, I interviewed with an airline company. Being in an airport again, and being around travelers reminded me of my long term goals. It reminded me that although I want to make a name for myself in New York, I want to make a name for myself in the travel industry. How can I call myself a world traveler if I simply stay put?

I was so happy to be in that airport, and I got along great with the interviewers. They complimented me plenty, and told me I had a very high chance of being hired. I was ecstatic.

Later that day, as I was taking the $7.50 train ride back home, I realized something. Training dates for the airline company, and training days for the restaurant opening clashed. The airline had mandatory training days before and during the restaurant's first opening weeks.

It might not be possible to keep both of those jobs.

So what would I do? Would I politely decline the airline company, possibly closing the door to NY travel? Or would I suddenly back out from the restaurant staff.

I've been weighing the pros and cons of course, but they always come out equal. One gets me more money, while the other gets me discounted travel. One puts me in a fast paced casual dining facility, while the other puts me in a fast paced international facility. One lets me work with a world famous chef while the other lets me work in a world famous airport.

I know I don't have to decide today. But I know that very soon I may. I might be stepping a little ahead of myself, figuring that the airline hasn't hired me yet, but I can't help it. I feel like I've earned both of these jobs, and now I can't have both of them.

I keep telling myself that I just need to think about it more...but when do I ever think about things before I do them? I feel like no matter how much I think about which job I want, I will end up making some hasty, off the top of my head decision when the time comes.

I guess that's not a bad thing though. If it wasn't for hasty, off the top of my head decisions, then I wouldn't be in New York right now, would I?

Arriving Early has its Perks

Life has a funny way of surprising you. Sometimes the surprises are frustrating. Like after boarding the E train you find out that the E train runs on the F line today, skipping your transfer stop. But other times life has a sneaky little way of giving you just what you need, just when you need it the most.

Training stated at 11am today. The trainer didn't show up until noon. Why? Lot's of confusion and miss-communication apparently. But that hour gave us trainees some time to talk. I was the first one to arrive, so naturally I started talking to the girl who arrived next. Both of us felt like we were walking blindly through a hallway of nail covered walls. We knew nothing about the restaurant, nothing about the menu, and the trainer was nowhere in sight. It was not the time for awkward silences. It was the time for insecure small talk.

This led us to reveal a brief history of ourselves. I mentioned that I used to live in Japan, and to my surprise, the 5'10, skinny Tyra Banks look alike said, "Oh me too!"

She called herself a military brat who used to live in Okinawa. Instantly another 10 minutes of conversation was born. I found out that she was born in Hawaii, moved to Okinawa for middle school, started her professional life in LA, and finally arrived in New York a few months ago. I asked her if she liked LA. She responded with, "absolutely...but I left."

Those words resonated on a strange chord with me. She liked it...but she left. Why would someone leave a place they like? Soon after, we started talking about Tokyo. She asked, "Did you like Tokyo?"

I responded, "I loved it...but I left..."

I realized then that leaving a place you feel comfortable isn't unusual. For some people venturing into the unknown is terrifying...but for others, it's exhilarating.

Finally, I had found someone on my wavelength.

Later in the conversation I asked her why she chose New York. Apparently there was no real reason...life just took her here. She ended with a comment like, "I guess I'll always be a military brat at heart. Traveling around, bound to no single location. I love it."

The comparisons between her and I are obvious...let's be honest. Even though I didn't know it at the time, meeting her was just what I needed. Living carefree without a plan is wonderful, but it's stressful beyond belief. It comes with loneliness, culture shock, a constant fear of failure, and so many other obstacles. On the bright side though it comes with incomparable experiences, meeting the most diverse and wonderful people in the world, seeing things none of us knew existed, and so so so much self discovery.

I have a world of respect for those content in one location. Staying put allows you to grow connections with your surroundings. It helps you maintain strong physical relationships, and gives you a comfort zone which offers safety and stability. All of those are good things, and all those things I may never have.

I guess there are two kinds of people out there. Those that like the stability, and those that crave the instability. Being a traveler isn't easy...sometimes you think you're crazy. Sometimes you think you're making all the wrong choices.

That is, until you meet that one person who reminds you that you're on the right track.

East 34th Street...or West 34th Street?

We always need to know where we're going don't we? Which train do I take, where do I take it to, which supermarket am I going to shop at, where am I going to sit to drink my soy, decaff, sugar free, vanilla hazelnut cappuccino? Everyday we make such minor choices that map out a route for ourselves without even knowing it.

Some routes that lots of us are aware of, are long term routes. Some of us write them down, and some of us keep that information in the back of our minds, bringing it to the front when times get rough. I have a vaguely drawn map for myself just like everyone else.

However sometimes, I need to remind myself that a long term path is just that - long term.

I start training tomorrow to be a server at what seems to be an exciting casual dining facility. I'm more than happy, I'm ecstatic. I searched for a month and a half in Boston for a job like this and got nothing. I searched for a week in New York and bam - employment time.

Making money is going to be great, and I know waiting tables is going to be an exciting and challenging adventure for me. But being hired as a server got me thinking about what my long term destinations used to be. I never planned this path for myself.

I never intended to move to New York and serve people overpriced Manhattan dinners. Hell I never even planned on focusing my career on travel. So what did I plan? What was I expecting?

Life throws us in directions we never thought existed. At first I thought there was only right, left, up, or down. I didn't know I could be tossed halfway between up and right with a few weeks of moving down, then a few months of moving left. And that gets me thinking even more. What's waiting for me to the far left...and how is that different from what's waiting at the far right. How do the rewards at the ends of up and down even compare?

Am I making sense? Who knows. But what I do know is that life is full of surprises. Just because we didn't plan to take a right doesn't mean we shouldn't. Just because I didn't plan to serve overpriced Manhattan dinners doesn't mean it's wrong. And just because the travel industry hasn't realized how much it needs me yet, that doesn't mean that it wont soon.

Stay safe, stay warm, stay focused.

Public Transit Stikes Again!

I'm going to try my hardest not to rant about the inconvenience of New York public transportation. I understand that no transportation system is as convenient or as efficient as the one in Tokyo. I was spoiled beyond my wildest beliefs, and now everything else will just be second par...I get it!

The truth is that the trains in NY are quite convenient...at least compared to the ones in Boston. They come almost always in intervals of five minutes, and some stations even inform people when the next trains will come. I was very pleased with this.

BUT, one thing that I will never understand is the bus system. I get that buses are commonly a type of transportation for locals. Usually people who know an area well, or live in a more suburban location will take a bus. I understand this. So I wasn't too shocked when I stepped into a bus, and there were no electronic displays informing us passengers of the stations we pass. That was fine, as long as the driver, or some mystical voice announced the stations we approach.

Nope...none of that.

The first time i took a bus it was around midnight or one AM. There were three other passengers riding beside us...so I just thought the bus driver was being lazy. I was glaring out the window to see the dimly lit street signs as best as I could to ensure I wouldn't miss my stop. Mind you I'm not from here...I barely knew what my neighborhood looked like, let alone be capable of spotting it out while driving 30 mph at midnight. And street names? Ha, yeah right.

So whatever, it was a frustrating ride caused by a lazy bus driver. It was fine, and I was over it.

Today I took another bus, and guess what happened. Again no station display...and again no station announcements. I once again focused my eyes out the window, counting up the streets. 75th, 76th, 77th. At some point I glanced back into the bus, and noticed something funny. Nobody else was looking out a window. People were acting just as they would in a Boston bus...only with no hint of what station was coming up. How did they do it? Do all New Yorkers have a photographic memory of the bus routes?

I started to feel strange. Everyone else was reading a book, listening to an ipod, or shutting their eyes for a quick rest. I on the other hand was nervously bobbing my head back and fourth, eyes focused out the window. I was once again, the tourist gaijin.

Eventually I made a guess thinking "My stop must be somewhere around here." I pulled the yellow string with apprehension...if it was the wrong stop would I be Japanese about it and get out anyway out of politeness? Or would I admit my mistake and try the next stop. How many stops would I have to delay the bus for just to ensure I got off at the right street corner? So many worries were filling up my head. Missing my stop and then retracing the bus route seemed like the only polite thing to do.

No, it was time to be assertive. It was time to be a New Yorker. I pulled the string willing to accept any and all consequences which accompany that. To my utmost surprise, i guessed right my first try.

So what did we learn? Avoid buses at all cost unless we want a stressful 15 minutes filled with judging eyes and insecurities...or unless we have an iphone with some swanky gps application.

Overall though I do admit that New York has a pretty kick ass transit system. But for now, I'm stickin' to the trains.

The King of Queens

I moved in today. There was a slightly awkward moment running into the other room mates who didn't know of my arrival. I felt a little bad telling them that I will be living with them, rather than asking them. It all worked out though. The cat didn't escape and they approved my presence with a, "yeah okay."

Tomorrow the interviews start and the job search gets serious. Waking up form my first interview at 6am is either a shocking inclination of things to come...or just one early interview. Let's hope its the latter.

I have high hopes for tomorrow. If we're being honest, arriving in New York the second time wasn't as exciting as it was last week. A part of my mind is going, "oh boy...you're pulling another Boston." I don't think that's the case though. The Boston job search failed because of limited opportunities right? New York has much more to offer...right?

I won't let what happened in Boston happen to me here too. Frankie S. once told me that if I can make it in New York I can make it anywhere. I know I can make it here. Staring from scratch is going to be rough though. I mentioned before that I wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea of making a whole new circle of friends in New York. I've done the whole leave home and start a new life thing. It was great. My life was great. I know New York will be great...but I don't know...something feels dull.

I think I'm tired out from the move...or maybe a little lonely. But I know you gotta cross the hills to reach the top of the mountain. Okay, I'm going to stop writing before my thoughts get any more pessimistic. Things will work out. Believe.

New York... A City or a Borough?

I'm sitting here in my Queens apartment, and I know I'm in a city. Heck the noise outside my window is louder than the noise I heard when living in downtown Tokyo. But that's the thing I don't get... where I live in Queens is not downtown. Queens feels more like an urban suburbia (Like that makes sense). The only area that feels like a city is Manhattan. So I'm starting to wonder if all the references to New York City are really just references to Manhattan.

Last night my room mate and I were out again. We had a fabulous evening drinking fabulous cocktails at a fabulous club. It was fabulous. Where were we? Manhattan of course. So the half hour train ride back to Queens got me thinking. Manhattan is so full of life... so much energy, so many landmarks, so much opportunity. Can places like Queens and Brooklyn really posses such allure?

Let's get this straight, I have yet to visit "downtown" Queens or "downtown" Brooklyn. I might be completely wrong on this. But my first impression leads me to believe that New York City isn't five boroughs...but rather one borough with four little siblings.

I know that Brooklyn is the artsy, hipster capital. That's fine. Queens feels like a giant mix of ethnicities. That's fine too. The Bronx I have yet to visit, and Staten Island... although I've visited confuses me too much to write about.

So that takes me back to Manhattan. Manhattan is where it all happens. All the famous movies were filmed there. All the "New York" touristy landmarks are there. All the people are there. So what does it mean if I live in Queens? I know that I'm in New York...but does it feel like New York? I can't answer that yet.

Either way I'm not complaining. I love my apartment and feel blessed for the opportunity to be here. Someday I will move to Manhattan. Someday the electricity that is Manhattan will be a part of my daily life. But for now, it's time to put a head on my shoulders. Great opportunity only comes from great amounts of hard work.

Final Destination: The Corner of 7th Ave. and 28th St.

Let me begin by introducing myself.

I'm a New Englander...born and raised in western Mass. I'm also a gaijin. What's a gaijin? Well that's Japanese for foreigner. Yes I've spent the past four years in Tokyo Japan. Tokyo was magical. It was like a dream, taking the shape of over sized plush dolls and six inch high hair styles. I loved every minute of my time there, but that chapter in my life has closed. But where do you go once you've lived in the largest and possibly most active city in the world? The other largest and most active city in the world: New York.

I arrived here only a day and a half ago, and already I'm bushed. Not every day will be so draining, that I know. But I'm always up for a challenge, mental or physical. A dear friend of mine, always tells me that I'm never happy where I am. I always need to seek out something better than what I currently have. What does that mean exactly? It can mean a lot of things. Do I think she's wrong? No...there is truth to her observation. But I also think that motivation can have roots that stem deeper than we realize.

So what motivated me to come to New York? Wanderlust perhaps...more career opportunities makes sense. I honestly don't know. I remember sitting in my ex's tiny apartment in Japan watching the show "Sex and the City." I remember thinking, "Wow, America is so crazy and full of life. I would love to move back." But I never thought New York would be the place. I have nothing here...no reason to be here. My life was in Tokyo, and Massachusetts. So when I made the big move back home this December I naturally moved my life to Boston. I had friends in Boston. I knew Boston. Boston made sense.

Boston and I got in plenty of fights, but I don't think it was all the fighting that made me want to leave. I felt like I was trying to re-live a lifestyle I had lived in the past. I felt like Tokyo had prepared me to live a fast, solar powered electric life...and Boston was offering me a quaint, small town, borrow a cup of sugar from my neighbor life. I know that Boston isn't a small city...but after Tokyo it sure feels that way. So I came down to New York to visit a friend of mine from Japan. It was love at first sight. I knew from the first day I needed to transition myself down here. Do I know anybody? With the exception of Marc, no. But I don't think that matters.

It's hard to relocate. I've done it twice...first to Boston to begin my college career, then again to Tokyo to really begin my college career. Before I came down here I had thought a lot about moving here. I kept asking myself: Do I really want to start over...again? I feel like the answer to that is no. Bust I also feel like staying in Boston isn't going to give me the life I want. It's time for a change...a BIG change...and if that means starting a brand new life then so be it.

I'm going to be blogging about New York: What I notice, what I experience...what I wished I experienced... I feel a little silly for starting another blog. I've already attempted a video and travel blog in the past. The video blog stopped when I stopped filming...the travel blog stopped when I stopped traveling...but If I can tough it out, and stay in New York, this blog has no reason to stop.

So I hope you're all here with me as I take on this city. I'm going to be updating at least once a week, if not more.

It's time to take a bite out of the biggest apple I can find.