Spontaneity Strikes Again!

Yesterday I was at work. Life was normal, business was average, nothing was out of the ordinary. So when things got slow I took a bathroom break, and checked my phone messages. I noticed an old friend from Japan texted me a flight itinerary. She told me that was flying to NYC in less than a week to visit. The text read, "Is this okay? Should i get the ticket?"

Now that I look back on it, my first impression seems odd. When I read this I immediately thought, "Hell no, I need to work and save up money. I wont have time to take you around. I wont have my own place yet. The timing is all off!" I texted this to her and asked her to come later on, sometime in May. It turned out that she couldn't. I didn't know what to tell her.

As I left the bathroom and returned to my shift, I thought more about my reaction.

Okay, so the timing isn't so great...but it's the only time she's able to visit, I haven't seen her in years, and she really wants to visit New York. So why am I making excuses for her not to come? Where did Kyle's spontaneous attitude about life go? And when the hell did I become so responsible?

Fearing that I was becoming a middle aged professional too soon, I texted her, telling her "Sure, buy the ticket, come to New York!" I knew this wasn't a wise decision at all, but I couldn't let myself feel boring and predictable.

The next day (today) I found myself thinking back to my initial thoughts when she texted me. They worry me. Have I lost some of that free spirit that brought me to New York in the first place? Why didn't I want her to visit? What was I scared of? Am i starting to crave a more stable, mature lifestyle?

I don't know how to answer those questions. I mentioned this to Rebeca when I spoke with her later that night. We realized something interesting that both of us had in common. We both had three goals to accomplish upon graduation. Mine were:

A) Find a job
B) Find an apartment
C) Find a career

Rebeca's were:

A) Find a job
B) Find an apartment
C) Find a man

Both of these are fine plans...but they both lack something EXTREMELY vital to a 22 year old's lifestyle - a social life. Nowhere on my list did I put, "Network in New York," or "Meet new people."

So what does that mean?

Maybe I'm thinking about this in a little too much depth, but the more I do think about it, the more I realize how much a social life has been lacking from my life here. I do have a job, I'm getting a place, but I don't really have friends yet, and I don't socialize very often.

So I started asking myself why I don't socialize, and there was only one answer: Because socializing is expensive, and takes a lot of time that I could be using to make money.

Again this brings us back to the "being responsible" theme that I seem to be focusing on. There is nothing wrong with being responsible, but when does being responsible lead to a decrease in one's quality of life? And when does voluntary responsibility take us farther away from the lifestyle we want to live?

I'm glad I told Rebeca to come visit despite my initial reaction. I think I need some stressful spontaneity to shake things up in my life. Although I am determined to reach my goals...I'm also determined to live up my 20's as much as I can. Plus this will give Rebeca and I time to re-think our long term goals. Somewhere in that list, there needs to be a, "be an irresponsible, spontaneous, free spirited 22 year old."

I can probably sandwich that in between the "Work for a wealthy corporate travel agency" step and the "Save up for an apartment in the East Village" step.