Shit, Shit, Shit SHIT!

Today I received a reference to an important, wealthy travel agent who works in corporate travel. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world to get his email. I'm aware that all good jobs come from networking. I thought to myself, "this might be it...this might be my way in."

So I prepared the perfect email, briefly introducing who I am, and what I aim to achieve. In two sentences I summed up my work history, and made a statement like, "please see my attached resume for more details."

I read that email over and over at least 40 times. I spent about 15 minutes just staring at the screen, making sure everything was spelled properly. Everything had to be perfect. I had to make the best impression possible so that this big head honcho man would know that I'm serious, and give me the time of day. Once i was confident in my 150 words, I clicked the send button. A whole two seconds later, I realized that something was off...

There was no resume attached.

I panicked. I panicked like I had never panicked before. What should I do? I would forever leave an unprofessional first impression. I was THAT guy. The guy too lazy to proofread his emails before sending them out. THAT guy doesn't get hired by anyone, let alone an important corporate travel agent. It was ruined. My life was over. I could kiss NY travel goodbye.

But no...I couldn't give up that easily...I had to at least try to salvage any lasting hope I had of receiving a reply. I QUICKLY typed up another short email stating, "Attached is my resume, Thank you." I made sure I ATTACHED my resume this time.

I was so embarrassed. I ensured that the first e-mail was perfect before I sent it. I wrote about 5 different copies, picked the best, and then proofread it about 40 times. It was so perfect. So how could I send it without a resume?

I lied down after that and sulked. It was over. I fucked up. I screwed myself. I lost. Game over. I fail. Life sucks.

Negativity was consuming my mind. I couldn't escape it. At least not at first. But the more I lay on my 5'7 blow up mattress, the more I started to forgive myself.

I tried damn hard to make sure that email was perfect. I spent longer than I ever have proofreading an email. I was not rushing, and I was not unprofessional. I simply made a mistake. There was nothing I could have done to prevent that.

I could have proofread that email 40 more times, spent another 10 minutes staring at the gmail screen, and still forget to attach the resume. It wasn't careless, it was a mistake.

No matter how perfect we try to make something...imperfections are unavoidable. We're all human aren't we? We forget, we stumble, we get lost, we're late, we trip, we make mistakes.

This one might have caused me to miss the best opportunity of my life...or maybe it just saved me from working for 40 years in an evil, stressful corporate environment. I don't know what damage or rewards this mistake will present...but I do feel comfortable knowing that there was no way around it.

Maybe he will reply anyway. I don't know. I always tell myself that I have until I'm 30 to start my career. I feel like your 20's is your time for crappy jobs, tiny apartments, pushing your limits, and making all the right mistakes. So although I may have lost the opportunity to be a travel agent at 22, I don't have to stress out about it until I'm 29.

Let's make these mistakes now people, while it's still okay.