And Then There Was One

I made an impulsive decision today. I resigned from my job at the airport.

On my way to work today I knew it was time to quit. The negatives of the job greatly outweighed the positives. I was well aware of this since the beginning, but I repressed those thoughts for one reason, and one reason only. I was working for an airline. The word airline tricked me into thinking the job was something more than what it was.

Funny how we do that, isn't it? We hear only what we want to hear.

When I was hired, I heard, "AIRLINE, blah blah blah, TRAVEL, blah blah blah, BENEFITS." But what they were really saying was, "Working check in, low hours, low pay, strict work schedule." I chose to ignore those aspects of the job because of the airline aspect.

But come on now, the job I was hired for has nothing to do with an airplane...my position was in an airport, not an airplane. My job required me to perform repetitive tasks in a crowded environment, not travel the world. I knew that from the beginning, but didn't realize it until yesterday.

So that was it. Yesterday I decided to resign, and today I initiated. Yes I realize how hasty that was.

I talked to an old friend today, Rebeca. She made a comment that got me thinking. She said, "The best decisions we make are based on impulse." I couldn't agree more.

Rebeca moved to Japan on impulse, and she's never regretted a day of her time there. Impulsive decisions have taken me out of Tokyo, and brought me to New York. I can honestly say that I've never been happier.

Being impulsive sure as hell gets us into trouble. That should not be forgotten. Quitting a job at Starbucks 6 hours before your shift starts, and then refusing to pick up the phone when your manager calls MIGHT get you blacklisted from the company... But it might just give you the time to focus on your real goals, and teach you how to reach your true potential.

Impulsive decisions can complicate our lives, but at the same time they can bring us closer to bright and stimulating places. I have confidence that this impulsive decision is going to take me far from my past of stressful low paying jobs, and bring me head first into the world of gainful employment.

Weeks upon weeks ago I received the contact information for a big shot travel agent. I wrote a blog about it, remember? I sent him an e-mail the day I got his information and never heard anything back. I was bummed but it was one of those, "Oh well," moments.

On my way to the airport today I received a call. Being underground, I didn't get anything except a voice mail. When I emerged above ground, I listened to the mail...it was him.

Life works out in the funniest ways, just when we need them to the most.

I've always believed that, and always will - secret or no secret.

The Secret: Kyle's Conclusion

So I've finally done it. I've taken the hour and a half, and watched The Secret.

Don't worry, I'm not going to repeat the film's teachings, or even rave about how wonderful the film was. Honestly I don't think it taught me much more than what I already know.

I knew sitting down tonight, that The Secret was going to tell me to believe in what I want. It would tell me to envision myself having what I want. It was going to advise me to negate my negative thoughts, and focus only on my positive thoughts.

I was right. The film told me to do all of those things. However the truth is this...I already do all of those things. And let's be honest here...I have a pretty fulfilling life.

Now I'm not making any bold statements. I'm just declaring what I've experienced. If you've read my blog posts, you can see that I have a pretty positive outlook on life. I don't switch my daily attitude when I write. I write how I feel. I stay honest to what's on and within my mind. And look at what that is. It's all positivity.

I live in a positive light, and positivity finds me. Strange? Maybe not.

Times can be rough. For a while I was working 80 hours per week, getting no sleep, and having little to no time to even check my e-mail. But life was still good. I loved my jobs and I love the people I was surrounded with each day. So I keep on truckin', I kept staying positive, and I kept getting the things I desired - good company, an active lifestyle, money, and a start of a fulfilling career.

I'm not here to tell anyone to change their lifestyles. What works for me works for me. What works for you may be something totally different. That's fine.

I just find it funny how the way I've been living my life is being reflected in a popular film. What's more, is that all the statements that the film is making have rung true to my life. They just click together.

I have my goals, and you have yours. I envision mine, I desire mine, I focus on mine, and I believe in mine. So what happens? I start getting mine. Are you getting yours?

If you are at all interested in the film, I highly recommend it. Just approach it with open eyes, and hold your judgments for elsewhere: http://www.putlocker.com/file/EF436RZNC7C4OCO#

Pizza Truck Wisdom

Well worth $1 per slice!

A Little Lady's Deceiving Gestures

Every day, things happen. Some crazy and blog worthy. Others too ridiculous for a blog to handle. But every night when i get home, I have anywhere between 4 and 6 hours until I have to be up to get ready for my next day. So I never write about them.

However life is finally starting to calm down. and free time is inching its way back into my grasp.

The other night I wanted to write about something, but fell straight to bed when I got home. I was taking the train home from Manhattan. I had just finished another crazy night at the restaurant. No big shot celebrities this time, just lots and lots of wealthy patrons.

As I was waiting for the train there was nobody standing around me. Once the train rolled in, the doors stopped right in front of me. I picked a lucky spot to wait. All of a sudden, despite the fact that fate had generously put the doors in front of me, giving me premier access to the train, a tiny middle aged lady was trying to push me out of the way.

She wasn't physically pushing, but rather nudging me, trying to get her feet in front of mine. I was a little confused. There were obviously enough seats inside for everybody to sit down. Did she not see that? Hmm...why was she so eager to get inside?

I didn't want to reward rudeness, so I didn't move out of the way for this lady. I just stood my ground and waited for the doors to open, and the people to exit. As I took a step inside, the lady next to me quickly stepped in second. Once in the train, she darted in front of me to find a seat. Whatever, I let her. I took my time, moseyed inside, and scouted for the widest seat I could find. It happened to be right next to this lady.

Oh well, I thought. She seemed a little selfish, but that's no reason to avoid her. So I plopped right down. I wasn't looking at her but she seemed to be glaring at me, resenting my presence. Space was a bit tight, and it was inevitable that our bodies touched.

She would have none of that.

She constantly, for the next five minutes, bumped back and fourth, trying to give herself ample space. It seemed like she was trying to push me as far away as she could, so we wouldn't touch.

It started to piss me off. What was this lady's issue? Why was it so important for her to rush inside the train in front of me to take a seat. She wasn't elderly. Why was she so much more important than I? And now on the bench, why did she deserve so much more space than I?

The train kept crowding with people. Soon all the seats were gone and lots of bodies were crowding over us sitting passengers. It was your average New York mix. every race describable, huddled together in one train car. Characters ranging from drunk business men to quite thugs with their earphones in. The lady next to me kept pushing back and fourth, moving her shoulders, trying to open up space for herself. It got annoying very fast. I turned my head and looked over.

I saw that she had all of her belongings tightened grasped with one hand on her lap. The other hand was holding up her shirt against her nose, as if there was a bad smell.

There was nothing smelly.

She looked distressed, and nervous. My building anger instantly stopped elevating, and started declining. I felt bad. Without taking the time to look at her, I was only reacting to half of her actions. I was annoyed that she rushed in front of me into the train, annoyed that she tried to move away from me on the seat, and annoyed with the overall impression she was leaving with me.

But I don't think she was trying to be a bitch. I think she was not used to the subways, and she was nervous. New York subways can leave a pretty negative impression. I felt bad for judging. But I didn't know what to do. I wasn't rude to her so I couldn't apologize for anything.

It just got me thinking. Just because someone seems like they are being a bitch, doesn't actually make them a bitch. I'm sure if we had met under different circumstances, this lady would have been absolutely charming.

She got off at the station before me. Once she left I sat there, nobody around me. I felt like I had just lost a war with myself. I was disappointed in myself for letting something so minor bother me so much, just to realize that none of it was an attack on me. I was judgy. I hate being judgy. Being judgmental is such a negative concept. It's not me.

We all judge people, yes. Whether we like it or not instinct will always kick in and tell us things about our surroundings. My instincts told me that this lady was a selfish bitch, when she was probably just a nervous tourist.

We live and learn. It's fine. I can't help the judgments, but I can definitely work on controlling them!

The Secret

I talked to an old friend on the phone today, Christina Porter. When she found out I was in NY, she asked me how I managed to go from Boston to NYC within weeks and holding minimal cash. I replied with an, "I don't know. I just really wanted a challenge, something new. So I went looking for that."

I chat with my co-workers at the restaurant all the time. Today, being a Sunday, was quite dead. So I spent a lot of time chatting with our bus boy. He's a guy like me, 21 years old and from Bulgaria. We are both new to New York so we talked a lot about the city, about Bulgaria, Japan, random life happenings. Somehow we got onto a related topic to spirituality, so I asked him if he was religious.

He replied, with a, "not really." and that sparked a conversation about what we do believe in. Apparently we have similar outlooks on spirituality. Then he mentioned to me "the secret."

Instant Deja-vu.

Back in Tokyo Sebastian, Amanda and I talked a lot about the secret. They introduced me to the concept, although I think I've known about the secret for a long time. The secret to what, you may be thinking. The secret to everything of course.

Apparently it was a film? I don't know. But the secret its simple really. Do you want to know?

Do you really?

I'll tell you...the secret is to believe. But what does that mean? It means to trust, and believe that your life will be the way you want it to be.

Does that make sense?

Let's take a step back for a second, while I give you an example. The first time I heard about the secret from Sebastian, and the conversation went something like this.

Kyle: You should come to my shamisen concert this weekend!
Sebs: Yeah sure... How did you get into shamisen anyway?
Kyle: Well I don't really know. I just really wanted to play it...so I did.
Sebs: Oh okay, you must know about the secret.
Kyle: The what?

And that's how I learned.

The secret isn't a theory telling people that their lives are going to be perfect and wonderful all the time. No not at all. The secret is just to envision what you want. Understand what you want, and know what you need to do to get what you want. Start doing what you need to do, and believe that things are going to work out. If you truly, and honestly believe they will work out, then they will.

What I'm saying may sound pretty ridiculous to some...but how ridiculous are our goals and aspirations? Isn't it worth doing everything possible to be what, and who we want to be?

I wanted to play shamisen. So I went to a performance, happened to meet a teacher there, and started taking lessons from him. He lent me a shamisen, and eventually helped me get my own. Of course life didn't just hand me a shamisen and say, "play Kyle...play away." No not at all.

I found out what I needed to do, and life just guided me along the way. I jumped at all the opportunities life gave me, and because of that, I reached my goal of learning how to play the shamisen. I honestly believe that things will work out in a positive manner if we let them.

Does this mean that if I sit in my bed tonight, envision myself with a million dollars, and believe I'll get it, that tomorrow a million dollars with fall onto my bed? No. If I want that million, I will have to understand the realistic ways to get it, plan out how I will get it, and start initiating my plan. Then life will guide me along the way if I let it.

Maybe this isn't the secret that the film speaks of, but it's the secret I follow. And maybe it's not much of a secret, is it?

I try to live each day as positively as I can. I know what I want from life, and I know how I can get that. So far life has given me what I want, and that isn't a coincidence.

As silly as the secret may sound, we just need to believe.

Like that woman in the station said last month. Stay warm, stay safe...but above all, stay focused. If we do that, life will guide us along our own paths.

10 Minute Turbulance

Now that my two jobs are in full motion, I don't find myself with much time to contemplate life. Today though, something happened that got me thinking.

Airline training was done for the day, and I was waiting for the bus to take me to my next job. An older man comes up to me and says, "I saw you here waiting yesterday. I was just wondering how long the bus took to arrive? I left around 5:15."

I was a little surprised the man was talking to me, let alone that he remembered my face. But despite my slight shock, I responded appropriately. I told him when the bus arrived, and asked when it usually comes. He answered appropriately.

After that however, he then started to talk more about the bus system, how things used to be, how it affects his job, and how it's unreliable these days. He then talks about jobs. I find out that he used to work in the travel industry, so I start talking about jobs. Before I know it, I spent about 10 minutes talking to this complete stranger. So that's when it hit me...what is this guy's motive? He must have a motive. Why else would he talk to me for what seems like a random reason?

Is he going to try and shove traditional ideals upon me? Is he an old gay man that hopes he can woo a younger guy? Is he a serial killer who wants to lure me into his chamber of danger? These thoughts were flying around through my head, nonstop for the later half of our conversation.

Then the bus came.

He ended abruptly, with a, "well thanks, I was just curious about the bus time." He boarded the bus, sat down, and ignored me the entirety of the trip. When we arrived in Jackson Heights, he got off, and disappeared into the sea of winter jackets and fuzzy earmuffs.

I didn't know what just happened. A random stranger just invested an entire 10 minutes of his life into getting to know me, for what seemed to be no particular reason.

People do that?

This is a concept I'm not so familiar with. It may be my years in Japan that made me this way, but I've always respected strangers for what they are...strangers. I don't know them and don't want to risk inconveniencing their lives by getting to know them.

This man talked to me. He ignored my privacy, and struck up a friendly conversation. How...refreshing. As weird as this was to me, I started to feel more comfortable with it as the day went by.

On my way home from the restaurant, I was standing on the train in front of two girls. They were clearly friends, chatting and whatnot. Next to them was another girl, sitting silently. I had my earphones in, so I was taken off to a world of Ayumi. I couldn't hear anyone's conversation.

But although I was deafened by Ayu's howls, I could see something. The silent stranger next to the friends overheard the conversation, and turned to talk to the pair. It seemed like the first few sentences were a bit awkward, but before I knew it, all three girls started talking like old friends. Astonishing!

The girls talked for about ten minutes, then they split up at Woodhaven Blvd. I watched as the girls parted. Nobody exchanged phone information, or traded names. Those girls aren't going to find eachother on facebook. They aren't going to see each other again. They just invested 10 minutes getting to know each other with no goal in mind. They simply wanted to chat.

How refreshing, no? Life can be lighthearted. Life can be spontaneous. And although some things in life may seem pointless, I've come to think that's a misconception.

Time Sqaure

Life may be crazy busy...but there is always time for some midtown shenanigans!

Double the Fun

The time has come people. If you've been reading my blogs, then you know about the difficult conundrum I was in about my career path. I had two jobs with clashing schedules, and I wasn't willing to give up either. So that's what I did today. I kept both of them.

Yesterday I received word that the airline company wanted to hire me. I'm not being cocky here, but I wasn't surprised. I'm not the best interviewer, but I went prepared to that interview, and made one hell of a good impression. I earned that job offer.

So today I chatted with my wonderful restaurant crew. It IS possible to work around my airline schedule.

Life is wonderful. I'm an honest believer that you can get what you want in life if you're determined to get it. I wanted to keep both jobs, and that's just what I did.

On a more depressing note, Japan has been trying to get my attention recently. I find myself looking at old photos from college, and chatting with long ago friends from Japan, specifically two of my besties: Justin, Becca.

We all love Japan, but currently live in America. We would all love to live in Japan again, but not right now. So we have begun a project.

The project is currently name-less, but I'll give it the tentative title of “Japan Re-location for Wandering Spirits.” By this time next year, we hope to be out of our current transitional phases, and have a steady lifestyle. Then, the goal is to devise a plan. Draw out some possibilities, set some time frames, and figure out how we can all get back to Japan. Then the next few years after that will be the commencement phase.

It might be a little silly, but it's composed of serious intentions. None of us are ready to re-locate to Japan right now...but who am I to deny myself another adventure once New York has lost its edge?

I honestly don't know where I'm going to be in 5 years. New York, Hawaii, Spain...who knows? But I know if I'm back in Asakusa, taking puri with Justin and Becca, I'm guaranteed some happiness.